The Isolated Generation: No Wonder They Are Leaving

"For most of human history until the time of the Industrial Revolution, the vast majority of children worked alongside adults as soon as they were able, and they transitioned to partial or full adulthood by their early, mid, or late teens. Even today, many and perhaps even most of the world's children (primarily in developing nations) follow this course…In contrast, in most industrialized countries today teens are almost completely isolated from adults; they're immersed in "teen culture," required or urged to attend school until their late teens or well into their twenties, largely prohibited from or discouraged from working, and largely restricted, when they do work, to do demeaning, poorly-paid jobs…It wasn't until the turn of the twentieth century that the teens years came to be seen as dark and tumultuous and that adolescence was recognized as a separate stage of life that coincided with those years." (Robert Epstien, Teen 2.0, 29-30)


I've written in previous posts on this subject about the idea that young people are competent and have unrealized potential to live meaningful lives of Christian discipleship. Today, I want to talk about two ways in which young people are now isolated from adults within the church and the damage I believe such isolation does to their development as disciples of Christ.


The idea that "adolescence" is a stage characterized by increased emotional and relational turmoil seems to me to be related to the fact that teens today are more isolated from adults than ever. This also seems to confirm the contention made by Chap Clark in his book, Hurt, that young people have been "systematically abandoned" by adults. This abandonment, I believe, takes many forms but one of the most pernicious forms it takes is that of Christian youth ministry as it currently exists.


Here's the reality: many parents have relinquished their God-given role as the primary model and teacher of Christian discipleship for their children. I don't remember what, in the history of youth ministry, came first: the hired youth worker or the parental relinquishment of their primary role in their child's faith formation. To me it doesn't really matter what came first. The point is that one of the principle places where young people experience isolation and abandonment from the adults who care for them is in the church. This is a hard pill for me (and I would imagine most youth workers) to swallow but I believe it is profoundly true that churches hire people like me (professional youth workers) because parents have relinquished their role as the primary teachers of Christian discipleship. This relinquishment has come by way of many cultural forces and I believe that the process that led to the classification of adolescence as a separate life stage is chief among them.


Having said all this, I have come to understand my own calling in youth ministry in a two-fold sense: 1) to provide space for young people to explore Christian faith in a safe and affirming environment and (most importantly) 2) to help and encourage Christian parents to reclaim their families as a vital and transformative space for Christian reflection and discipleship. I am not Catholic but I find that the Catholic catechism has a great deal of guidance to offer regarding the shape of the Christian family:

"The Christian family constitutes a specific revelation and realization of ecclesial communion, and for this reason it can and should be called a domestic church." It is a community of faith, hope, and charity; it assumes singular importance in the Church, as is evident in the New Testament. The Christian family is a communion of persons, a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. In the procreation and education of children it reflects the Father's work of creation. It is called to partake of the prayer and sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God strengthen it in charity. The Christian family has an evangelizing and missionary task. The relationships within the family bring an affinity of feelings, affections and interests, arising above all from the members' respect for one another. The family is a privileged community called to achieve a "sharing of thought and common deliberation by the spouses as well as their eager cooperation as parents in the children's upbringing."

In short, the Christian family is to be "a church in miniature." There is a great deal of research out there pointing to the fact that parents are the single most important influence in their children's faith formation. Why, then, do so many churches support and perpetuate structures that keep young people separated from adults? Why in the world do so many churches create what are essentially completely separate worshiping communities made entirely of youth with just a handful of adult volunteers involved mostly for the purposes of "crowd control?" And why do youth ministries reinforce a way of life that separates young people from their families? It makes no sense to me. Youth ministry that does not engage parents and provide space for young people and adults to reflect together on their lives as disciples perpetuates this isolation and reinforces the notion that young people are not capable of real ministry or meaningful service to the church. Parents who do not take a meaningful role in the faith formation of their children miss out in a number of ways – not the least of which is the missed opportunity for them to be intimately involved in the very beautiful work of God's formation of children into faithful followers of Jesus.


In addition to encouraging and equipping families to reclaim their rightful role in the discipleship of young people, churches ought to set the standard for the world at large as places where young people are taken seriously and not simply sequestered into their own pseudo-communities of isolation from their older counterparts (this, I believe, is one among many reasons why young people leave the church after high school). Unfortunately, the way churches and denominations are structured often perpetuates this isolation of youth from adults. If you're in a more "traditional" or "institutional" church, think about these questions:

1. How many young people are on committees in your church community?
2. How often do young people participate in worship (beyond the occasional solo or the yearly "youth service")?
3. How often do young people and adults take part in intergenerational Bible studies or other discipleship activities?
4. How often do young people and adults take part in mission and service activities together (and do not count the once or twice-yearly "youth mission trip)?

If your church community is anything like many of the churches I've served, you will be hard-pressed to find youth and adults participating in these aspects of church life together. I have, of course, seen good examples of youth and adults working together in the life of the church. I even know of churches that require committees – in order to be considered "functioning" and "in good standing" – to have at least one or two youth members. I would argue that each church committee ought to have as many young people as are willing to serve and that there should be no barriers to youth participation in all aspects of the church's life together.


Youth ministry as I understand it takes very seriously the personal stories and giftedness of each young person and seeks to provide lots of opportunities for young people to be engaged in the church and in the world in meaningful and transformative ways. It involves not merely training our youth to be leaders for "the church of tomorrow" but also helping them understand that they are called to take part in the work of the church today. Youth ministries must advocate for young people and create space for them to take part in the work of the whole church. Youth ministry is not a "church within a church" but is fully a part of the larger community. Youth should be a part of every aspect of the church from its governance and polity to its worship and service. If churches continue to sequester young people and bar them from participation the everyday life of the community, we are going to continue to see them leave after high school (sometimes sooner) and no youth worker or youth ministry program will be able to stop this process unless we take seriously our responsibility to help young people to be fully functioning members of church and society.


I'd love to hear from you. What other ways have you seen this isolation play out? What are your churches doing to strengthen the role of families in youth discipleship? How are they seeking to integrate young people and adults within the church?